Spice Rack, Schmice Rack

If I were asked to give advice to newlyweds, one of the first kitchen-related experiences I would share are the problems with a spice rack.


First of all, people buy their spices at a grocery store, and the best and most convenient way for stores to sell them is in a nice little container that doesn’t fit in or match your spice rack. I suppose you could find a place that will sell you spices in bulk, but you probably won’t find paprika that way at your local store.


After you get the spice home, you have to figure out how to get it in the little container that fits in your spice rack. I recommend making use of a funnel. If you try to simply shake your spice out of the little jar or bag into its container, you’ll end up with half of it on the counter, and another fourth of it on the floor.


Chances are you won’t even need half the ready-labelled spices on the rack. What is tumeric, anyway? I’ve never had to use it.


Then there’s the problem of there being enough containers for the spices you actually use on a regular basis, and the fact that the labels on the containers don’t correspond with your spices. Your celery salt container is sitting in the spice rack, empty, while a jar of dried cilantro sits next to it on the shelf, taking up space. Of course you could just put your cilantro in an empty container and change the label, but what’s the point of that? The jar the cilantro came in already has a label, and leaving it where it is means that you won’t have to toss half of it on the floor trying to get it in a jar that wasn’t meant for it in the first place.


Another annoyance may come in the form of the containers themselves. Are they big or little? Do you have to dump spices out of them in order to get at them, or can you fit a teaspoon inside of them? I’ve seen some spice racks with containers the size of tiny test tubes. What’s the point of that? You can’t get a measuring spoon inside, and there’s hardly any room in them for the spice they’re supposed to hold. You can’t keep a bay leaf in a container like that.


The final (and perhaps most obvious) problem is that once they are all in a row in their little containers, the spices look exactly like one another unless you’re looking directly at the label. It would be hard for anyone to tell whether they were holding the crushed oregano or the crushed basil without having to turn the container around until they found the label. “Well, duh,” you’re thinking, “the label is there so you won’t get them confused. What’s the problem with taking a little time to look at what you’ve got before you dump it on your food? If you absolutely have no time to glance at the label, keep them on opposite sides of the rack.” Thanks for the advice. I already do. It hasn’t kept me and my husband from confusing them anyway. Though it has helped us to discover how delicious cinnamon tacos are (that was totally him), and that cumin spiced apples are pretty good (all right, that was me, but it was early and I was still half asleep).


In conclusion, my advice to a newlywed who asks me what spice rack they should register for is to tell them to buy a lazy susan instead. Less mess, less confusion, less unnecessary spices in your kitchen.


Feh. Spice rack, schmice rack.