Was Your Daughter Switched at Birth?

The best part about giving birth is that first moment when they set the baby in your arms. You get to look down at your child, and marvel at the miracle of life. It’s only a moment, and then the nurses take your child away to bathe it, measure its weight, height, and head circumference, and you get a few minutes to rest. They bring your baby back later, wrapped in an adorable blanket, and you get more of a chance to bond with your child, to admire its features and point out which of them looks most like you. Most mothers have at least one moment that they stare hard at their child, just to make sure that the baby in their arms is really the one they brought in with them in the first place. For some mothers, this question gets considered later, when the child is a little older.


For those mothers, I have compiled this helpful how-to.

How to Tell if Your Daughter Has Been Accidentally Switched at Birth With an Inhabitant of the Forest Moon of Endor:

That's no baby.

1. She’s a cuddly little teddy bear
2. She sings a little tune whenever she’s working or playing
3. She growls at and is wary of strangers
4. She is unnerved by small changes in your appearance
5. She brandishes a primitive spear when alarmed
6. She is a feisty and determined fighter
7. She worships a primitive god that resembles an annoying protocol droid


Any one of the above could be a reason to suspect that your daughter was accidentally switched at birth with an inhabitant of the Forest Moon of Endor. Unfortunately, these reasons are usually not enough for most lawyers to file a suit against the hospital where your daughter/Ewok was born. In most cases, families have learned to love and accept their Ewok as part of their family, and they are often easy to teach and learn new things quickly. They may still have a tendency to aid rebel forces or to attack intruders, especially if they arrive in an All Terrain Scout Transport.


Keep following this blog for many other helpful how-tos, including “How to Raise Your Wookie Right” (hint: you can’t always let it win!) and “How to Battle Traffic on Coruscant.”