Writing Prompt: Productivity Tips

Writing Prompt #674

My productivity tips for evil dictators would be pretty much the same for any person, regardless of the amount of power they hold: get a good night’s sleep, eat (fairly) healthy, and wear comfortable shoes.

One thing I would recommend for evil dictators (and maybe regular folks, if they can afford it) is to invest in a dedicated minion. Like, the kind of devoted underling that takes your very word as gospel, believes that only you hold the keys to a perfect existence, and generally worships the ground you walk on; but they need to come equipped with the added bonus of being able to get things done. A minion who can’t get things done is not a minion but rather merely one of the faces in your crowd of admirers.

A dedicated minion can get tons of things done for you. They can wake you in the morning without being tempted to quietly do away with you for the good of the world at large, be trusted not to poison your breakfast, check your closet from tiny scorpion assassins as they choose your most flattering military uniform for the day’s occasions, check in with your security staff as you go over your daily schedule, keep an extra eye out for snipers when you get into your car, and sacrifice their own life to save yours while you give a speech to your adoring masses.

I guess there are other things they can do than prevent your death. General personal assistant duties can be trusted to a dedicated minion: knowing how (and how often) you take your coffee, knowing how long you like to nap (when to wake you to take charge of matters of national importance or when to prioritize your nap and let those matters wait until you’ve had enough beauty sleep), knowing when to order your car to take you to your next appearance (or back to your heavily guarded estate after a long day of waving and smiling at the faithful populace).

A dedicated minion will improve the life (and perhaps prolong the life) of any person of power, evil dictator or not. And if you can’t afford a dedicated minion, then, just, y’know, get a good night’s sleep, eat right, and wear comfortable shoes.