Hungry for Home

“Nothing starts the weekend off better than a hot, fresh pizza from Valentino’s. Happy Friday!” -Valentino’s Facebook status, 9:30ish this morning

Well, that’s nice. A reminder of something wonderful and delicious that I love and that I can’t have. The nearest Valentino’s is almost 200 miles away. Thanks, Facebook. Why don’t you toss in an ad for Amigos and dangle a Turkey Sourdough BLT from Culver’s in my face while you’re at it?


These things make up the list of stuff I love to eat when I go home to visit. The best is a Southwest Chicken Soft Taco from Amigos (don’t forget the Ranch), and a Special from Valentino’s.


There’s a Culver’s in Thornton (ten or so miles away), so I could go there pretty much whenever I wanted, but unfortunately, my favorite restaurants have recently decided that they hate joy (and me). The awful thing I discovered at Culver’s last time I was home was that they have decided to discontinue my favorite item, the Turkey Sourdough BLT. The kid manning the register was a bit weirded out, because I definitely almost cried. Then I remembered that there would always be Cheese Curds, so I ordered a Butterburger and quit whining.


I used to work at Amigos, and in the downtime I enjoyed experimenting with recipes. My favorite item to make for myself was sort of a mashup of a Southwest Chicken Soft Taco and a regular Soft Taco: Southwest Chicken and Pepperjack cheese from the Southwest Chicken Soft, meat and cheese from the Soft Taco, then lettuce (which both had), finished with a jackton (that’s a technical term) of Ranch, which was what the Southwest Chicken Soft had on it instead of sour cream, like the Soft Taco. The result was what I called the “SouthSoft,” which was almost as big as a Grande Burrito, and it didn’t even have unnecessary Mexi Fries in it. And it was delicious. Nomnomnom.


I had a similar shock at Amigos when I found out they had discontinued the Southwest Chicken Soft Taco, but it wasn’t a big deal; I just told them to give me a Southwest Rollup instead, hold the pico. I shed no tears, I just paid an extra dollar for an item with the same ingredients but a different tortilla. At least the Ranch is still free. That makes up for it.


I would probably demand a memorial service be held if Valentino’s ever went insane and decided to ditch the Special. I’ve never met someone who understands my love for Valentino’s who has not also grown up with it. It is the best pizza ever because not only is it delicious but it reheats better than any other. In fact, it’s almost better reheated. But maybe that’s just the added joy of “We still have Valentino’s left over?! Awesome!!”


Now I want Amigos for lunch. And maybe Valentino’s for dinner. But I’d accept Culver’s, since the other two would require driving 4+ hours to get.


Some people get homesick. I get homehungry. If you live in a place where you can get all of these things whenever you want, I hope you know I envy you. And I’d appreciate it if you tried not to rub it in my facebook.