Mountain Goat Massage

Every mother goes to her baby advice books, or to her mom, or to her friends for the answer to the question of how to get things done when she has a new baby. Everything is more difficult when you have an adorable snuggly creature that cries whenever you put it down. The books say, “put your baby on your chest while you do sit-ups! They will love it!” LIES. The truth is that no matter what you’re trying to do, if your baby is in a mood to be held, they will scream if you put them down to do something, no matter how important it is or how many dance routines you do or how many silly faces you make at them. A baby doesn’t listen to logic. It’s not like you can say, “Hang on a second, Darling, I have to put this grease fire out.” The only thing that’s important to them is being cuddled, and there are times when they won’t have anything else.


My seven month old doesn’t crawl yet, she just squiggles around on her elbows and hands when she wants to get somewhere. She gets up on her hands and knees, but slides back down onto her tummy when she wants to move to a different location. My mother lovingly calls her a “little mountain goat,” because when she is being held when in an energetic mood, she climbs up the person holding her until she can see what other mischief she could be getting into in the general vicinity.


This weekend, she started to apply these climbing skills to pulling herself up onto various things. My husband’s filing cabinet, the couch, and the railing of her crib got quite a bit more slobbery than they had been before. We tried to tell her that she was starting this activity too soon and that she should learn to crawl before beginning to learn to walk, but she disregarded our warnings in favor of having a good time.


I am now qualified to offer better advice than “I guess you’d better find yourself a babysitter” to a young mother who ask what she should do with her baby if she wants to get a massage. I would tell her to wait until her baby is old enough to crawl around, and then lay in the middle of the floor (or bed) and put her baby on her back. As long as you don’t mind some squawking in your ear, attempts to chew on your hair, or a demand to change a diaper afterward, you can get a pretty decent massage that way. And it’s much cheaper (and cuter!) than hiring a masseuse.

With a baby around, you may not be able to get things done such as the laundry or the dishes or preparing dinner, but at least you can get a Mountain Goat Massage.