Thursday, September 27, 2012

Three Ways to Stay Warm

It’s apparently not summer anymore, kids. Autumn weather (and that of winter, which cuts autumn’s rather short) is normally cooler than that of summer weather, and that means you may have to change some of your habits to stay comfortable. Since it’s been hot for quite a while, you may have forgotten what to do when it’s cold, so I give you:

Three Ways to Stay Warm (Now That it’s Apparently Freezing Out Every Night)

1. Close your windows.
It’s easy to see why this is a good idea. Just stand in front of an open window in the evening when the wind is blowing. Then, close the window. You will notice immediately that you are warmer. When your windows are open, cold air can get inside your house, and if you are also inside your house, the air will find you and make you cold, too. Close your windows, and you will be warm.

2. Utilize blankets.
You may be used to sleeping with just a sheet over you, or no covers at all. The reason we shun covers on our beds during the summer is because covers keep us warm. To stay even warmer when it’s cold, add more covers. Sleeping with several sheets probably won’t help, and this is why blankets were invented. There are lots of different kinds: fluffy ones, heavy ones, fuzzy ones, and thick ones. You may have to try each kind to determine which one is your favorite, but in the meantime you will be warm during the night.

3. Wear pants.
It’s a good idea to leave your skin exposed (as much as modesty dictates) during the summer, because clothes (for the same reason as covers) keep us warm. So a tank top and Daisy Dukes are a good idea in August, but in October they’re less advisable. Put on some pants. I don’t care how cute that halter dress is, if you go outside, you’re going to be cold. You’re not going to exercise, so don’t even think about those athletic shorts (unless you are going to exercise. Then go ahead. Exercising will make you warm, and probably sweaty, so make sure to take a shower afterward, and when you’re getting dressed again, put on some pants). The more clothing you wear, the warmer you will be.

Now that it’s apparently freezing out every night, you’ll need these tips to keep warm. Keep following this blog for many other helpful tips, including “How to Ignore That Weird Smell That Comes From the Furnace When You Turn on Your Heater for the First Time,” and “Snow is Basically Frozen Water So Be Sure Not to Make a Mess When You Come Back Inside After Playing in it.”

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