Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Ahh, Spring...


It’s pretty easy to tell when the seasons are changing in Nebraska. Don’t look at the calendar, that’s only a guide.
Here’s the real scoop: if it’s snowing, it’s winter. It doesn’t matter if it’s barely October. That snow is going to be there until May-ish, so you’d better get used to it.
The way you can tell if it’s summer is if the air conditioner is on. Middle of September? Feh; if it’s 97 out, it’s summer. I don’t care what color the trees think their leaves are.
Not all places have the indicators for autumn and spring that my house does, but we know the season has changed by the tiny bugs trying to gain access to our home. Just when the weather’s nice enough to start tossing the windows open, I can’t, other wise I’ll have a zillion mini insects everywhere. The only nice part about them is that there’s no reason to have an argument on whether it’s winter anymore: if they’re there, it’s spring.
Thunderstorms, bunnies chasing around after one another and hopping adorably, sitting out on the porch on a foggy morning to write... It’s awesome.
Although my fingers are a bit cold, I’d never have been out here a month ago, when there was snow on the ground, without freezing my butt off and complaining that I was freezing my butt off.
Except the weather report says it’s supposed to snow tomorrow.
Guess it’s still winter.

Monday, April 8, 2013

A Fine Day for FareBall


Some people dislike major holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter... they don’t like them because it usually means that they have to go home and spend some time with their parents and siblings. Some people are judgmental and competitive and like to compare their lives to those of their extended family, and determine their own self worth by how well they are doing and how well their family members are doing.
Not my family. We recognize that we all have different strengths and abilities. One of my brothers can teach anyone to appreciate the mechanics of a sonata. The other can teach anyone to appreciate the mechanics of mechanics. And I’m always inflicting historical knowledge on my family members, like reasons why my dad’s ancestry DNA test came back 38% Scandinavian (VIKINGS!).
We have a good time when we get together, and it doesn’t always have to be on national holidays. We hang out, talk about stuff, make arrangements to hang out some more or watch each other’s kids when we want to go on a date with our spouses (or when we just want to chill with our siblings’ awesome kids). We also eat together (DUMPLINGS!) and partake of our parents’ wisdom.
Easter isn’t usually gorgeous and sunny, but this Easter was. While I was slaving in the kitchen to produce enjoyable food (a fusion of my mother-in-law’s culinary wizardry and the deliciousness that is my grandmother’s cooking), my brothers and husband escaped with a frisbee to the backyard. When I was finished, I looked around and found no one in the kitchen; my sister-in-law was feeding my nephew and my parents were playing with my daughters in the other room.
I went out in the backyard. “Hey!” I shouted. “Nice job leaving me to do all the work!” My husband objected with the observation that if he tries to help I shove him out and tell him he’s getting in the way anyway, which is a valid point, so I shrugged and joined in their game.
It was kickball. Sort of. It was “every man for himself” kickball. If you could get all the way around the “bases” (corners of the yard), you’d get a point for yourself, but if the guy in the middle got a point if he was able to get you “out,” either by catching the ball when you kicked it or by throwing it at you and hitting you with it. Oh, and there was no pitching, just the person who was “up” kicking the ball out of their own hand.
My nephew finished his snack and my sister-in-law brought him outside to enjoy the sunshine. My mom came out to watch the game, and sat on the bench under the tree making sure my three year old wasn’t getting into too much mischief. My dad watched from the driveway, with my one year old all bundled up in her jacket.
The rules of the game kept changing. “So if you kick it on the roof or over the fence into the driveway it’s a home run,” one of my brothers said, “and don’t chase the ball down the stairs because if you go too fast you’ll break your ankle,” the other added. “And if you kick it and someone else gets in, then you get half a point,” my husband decreed. “And if you hit a baby you’re out!” my mom shouted, as my one year old toddled across the middle of the yard.
The ball was terrible. It sat out in the yard all winter and was lopsided and half deflated and didn’t go where you wanted to when you threw it, even if you were a foot away from your fleeing husband. Kicking was problematic because of the tree branch that hangs across one side of the yard, not to mention the electrical wires that stretch from the pole on the other side of the fence to the house next door.
We had a great time. I’d kick the ball and take off as my brother or my husband went after it, and as I ran for the nearest corner of the yard that we’d designated as first base, I’d scream, whether my pursuer was nearby or not. My husband would make fun of me, making faces or taunting gestures at me. My brothers would pose dramatically before each kick, pointing off into the distance where they expected the ball to majestically arch, even though they knew it probably wouldn’t. Sometimes they’d point in two different directions. Mostly, we ran our butts off and had an awesome time.
The next day I sent my brother a text message: “HOLY CRAP I am so sore!” He texted back, “Me too, I have to keep stopping to stretch.” I responded, “We either need to never do that again or do it all the time.”
My family has a great time when we get together. Sometimes we sit and watch a movie, sometimes we hang out and talk about electric vehicles, and other times we make up a game and run around in the yard getting muddy and displaying how out of shape we are. It doesn’t matter what we do, we always enjoy hanging out with family, even on days that it’s yucky and cold out.
But it’s always more fun when it’s a fine day for FareBall.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Bag Count: 35


This is part of an ongoing series in crafting some crazy stuff. Read on at your own peril.



When I arrived home on Monday, there were plastic bags sitting on my porch.
Wal-Mart bags.
As I carried things inside the house, I wondered who could have left them there. My sister-in-law? My brother? Soon, I had my answer, as my brother walked around the side of the house and, with a mischievous glint in his eye, declared, “April Fool’s!”
“Hooray!” I said, “more bags! I just ran out of the Wal-Mart kind!”
To which he replied, “April Fool’s!”
I still don’t get it.
He washed the bags and rinsed them out (they had been in a stinky bachelor kitchen), and I dried them by toweling them off and then flipping them all over the place to knock the extra water off. Then I cut the bottoms and tops off and put them all in a pile to cut.
Now I’ve got almost as many to work with as I did when I began! Hopefully, this amount will get me to the top of the bag.
While I’m overjoyed to have more of the same kind so that the whole thing can look the same, the drawback has been that I haven’t had much time to actually crochet, since I’ve been cleaning and sorting and cutting out new bags. I haven’t made much progress on the bag itself.
See? Same. Well... almost the same. 
Maybe I’ll have all the bags cut and tamed by this weekend so that I can really get going.
Bag Count: 35

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Time Capsule of Fun


“Daddy, I want a new car,” my three year old calmly informed my husband this morning as we drove to my mom's house. “...And new toys.” She has a taste for the finer things in life.


We laughed, and I told my husband not to worry. “I can put away some of the toys she’s got out right now, and get out some of the ones she hasn’t played with for a while. It’ll be like she’s got new toys and we won’t have to buy more stuff. I’ll let you take care of the car thing.”
My mom used to stash about half of our toys when my brothers and I were kids. She had them all in a closet in the den, and every six months or so she’d move my dad’s recliner and we’d gather in a little semicircle and watch her unload all the stuff we hadn’t seen for half a year and pile all of the stuff we’d just been playing with back into the darkness of the closet, sealing it away like a time capsule of fun.
Some of these cars may have
been the ones to get cycled
in and out of the closet. Now,
my daughter plays with them
at my mom's house.
It didn’t matter how many times she put things away and got them back out, we still held every toy with wonder; since we hadn’t seen it for so long, it was like new! Our Fisher Price Little People house, our Sesame Street Garage, and our various jars of small things (Hot Wheels cars, action figures, and Happy Meal toys) were all things we had for years and years, but we never had a chance to get tired of them.
It was like an extra Christmas!
It’s not like we never got new toys. It wasn’t the same kind of excitement, though; a birthday is special, and you expect to receive gifts, but we never knew when that closet door would be opening to swap out our toys. Birthdays are awesome, but any day that we'd get “Surprise! New toys!” was even awesomer.
Whenever that closet door opened, we got to greet old friends.
I can’t wait to see the look on my daughter’s face when I get out some of her stuff that I stashed in the closet last July. I will smile, and enjoy being on the receiving end of that gape of wonder as I unveil her “new” old toys.
Then I’ll have to ask my husband when we’re going car shopping.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

2013 State of the Blog Address


One year ago today, my husband badgered me into promising him that I’d use my talent for writing more often. “There are a lot of people a lot less talented than you making money with their writing,” he told me. So I decided to start a blog. It took me a couple of days to think about where I would put it, what I would call it, and on April third, 2012, I wrote about how I’d decided to start a blog.
And I’ve been enjoying myself ever since.
Because Using My Talent has been around for a whole year (yeah, I’m as surprised as you are; I thought I’d give up around August, too!), this is my State of the Blog Address to share some things I accomplished this year (along with what I didn’t accomplish), some things I’m proud of (and some that I’m not), and my plans for the future.



Stuff I did:
Posted every weekday, and didn’t even miss once! This does not include the totally reasonable one sick day (which I did post something, just not any writing),  Christmas Eve & Day off, a week to visit family for Thanksgiving, and the first two weeks in July, in which I not only managed to move from one state to another, but also to fly to a wedding with my entire family from Omaha to Denver, Denver to Spokane, and back. All in all, this is seventeen out of two hundred sixty two days that I took as perfectly normal vacation days. That still makes two hundred forty five: 178 in 2012, and 65 in 2013 so far. Not bad.

Stuff I wrote about:
Life. How awesome my mom (also my dad, my brothers, my husband, my sister-in-law, my grandparents, my friends, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law) is. (In case you hadn’t noticed, the people in my life are the best!) The weather. The weekend. The internet. The stories I love (books, television, historical stuff, movies, and video games). My hilarious kids and the honor (and sometimes annoyance) that I have in being their mother. CRAFTING. Food. Being a nerd. My childhood remembrances. Things that make me laugh. Things that drive me nuts. History!

Stuff I was pleased with:
That one time that I told my life story using dirty dishes. When I remembered graduating from high school. My open letter to a certain cereal company to persuade them to give me cereal. That time I shared my hatred for certain window coverings. Anytime that I got incredibly silly.

Stuff I was displeased with:
Anytime I sat around and complained about blogging or having to write, or when my “I don’t feel like it”ness came through. (I’m not linking to those, because I don’t want to look at them, and I don’t want anyone else to, either. If you happen to stumble upon one, feel free to shake your finger at me.)

Stuff I didn’t do:
Promote myself. I’ve got maybe three daily readers (hi, Grandma!) and around a dozen others who catch themselves up on my crazy stuff every once in a while. To those people I would like to say: Thank you. I really appreciate your support and I enjoy every piece of feedback you’ve given me. I can’t tell you how great it makes me feel when I hear that you thought something that I wrote was funny, or well-written, or it touched your heart.

Stuff I plan to do:
Promote myself. Several weeks ago I found a cool website called Writer’s Relief, which helps out amateur writers who are hoping to get published: novel writers, poets, those who write short stories, and occasionally they even have something for people like me, who like to write creative nonfiction. They’ve got leads for places to submit your writing, writing contests, and even a service to help you prepare your writing resume and cover letter stuff. I haven’t really scratched the surface with what I could do with that website, but I have submitted a piece to a writing contest or two and an anthology.
Gain more readers (this falls under the “promote myself” category, I guess). The way I plan to do this is by sharing my stuff with more people. I’ve already started sharing on Google+, but I guess I’ll have to take it up a notch post new stuff on facebook, or even give in and sign up for twitter.
Get paid for it. Google has a great program for Blogger users called AdSense, but first you have to have enough content and enough traffic. I’ve taken care of the former, now I have to work on the latter. I’ll have to wait until Google deems me worthy, and then I’ll be able to get a little bit from advertising. I’ve also looked into Project Wonderful, but I’d need more traffic for that to make a difference as well.
Get published. Whether it’s an online indie mag or an actual hold-it-in-my-hands book, I’d like to see my work featured somewhere other than on my own blog. (That will also bring in readers!)

I’ve loved working on my blog this year. I’m not planning on stopping anytime soon. There are some days when it feels like work, and other days that silliness and creativity flows out of me like some kind of metaphor.
Thank you for enjoying my blog; I hope you continue to enjoy my writing. And I encourage you to follow my example and do what you love.
I am.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

To Bean or Not To Bean


My husband grew up with his New Mexican parents and grandparents, and as a result we eat a lot of New Mexican dishes: we transform dry pinto beans into burritos, and ordinary dough into homemade tortillas or mouthwatering Navajo fry bread. (I’m telling you, my mother-in-law is a culinary wizard, and she has passed down her delicious magicks to her son.)
One of the things you have to deal with when prepping dry pinto beans is sort them and make sure there will be no foreign substances in your burritos. My husband sorts them meticulously, pulling out any beans that look too yucky to be eaten.
My experiences with sorting dry pinto beans are different than his. My parents and grandparents are all Nebraska born and bred, so there was no Navajo fry bread in my childhood. My first job, though, was at a fast food “Mexican” place, which made huge batches of pinto beans in gigantic ten gallon vats. Since there was a lot to do, there wasn’t a ton of time to take out the beans that looked slightly wrinkly or weren’t precisely the same shape and color as the rest of the beans. You had ten minutes to sort the beans, and then you had to go help in the drive thru. I could sort through a ten pound bag in that time period, and customers would never be able to tell if I left one in that was a bit wrinkly or smaller than the rest. I was focused on making sure no kernels of corn or soybeans or rocks got dumped into the pot.
A pile of delicious pinto beans on my kitchen counter waiting  to be sorted
It’s hard for me to watch my husband pick out weirdly shaped beans, because I can tell with a glance that there are no exotic ingredients mixed into our dry pinto beans. And it doesn't matter how it's shaped; as long as it’s a pinto bean, your taste buds won’t be able to tell the difference.
Besides, I’d be able to finish sorting a whole bag in ten minutes.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Proof of the Dolphin Internet


A cat may love a fish, but where would they live?
In Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the earth unfortunately is demolished to make way for an intergalactic bypass. The alien race that comes to demolish it scoffs at the human race’s state of alarm.
“There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.”
Dolphins, on the other hand, had already known about these plans that were “only four light years away,” and had departed earth long before the wrecking crew showed up, and had tried to warn mankind, but had failed.
“The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner,’ but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
The video below supports Douglas Adams’ view of dolphins. I would add my own idea: that dolphins have had their own internet for decades, and so have been sharing cat pictures for way longer than we have. The internet is for cat pictures. And videos.
Enjoy.